Beauty Pageant Winners

Winner of the early hominid beauty contest who hates people.

Miss Anne Thrope


Married winner of the Beverage Industry beauty pageant and a large river.

Mississippi


Winner of the fast food beauty pageant and a failed police action.

Miss Take Out


Sexually ambiguous winner of the one pan cooking contest.

Miss Stir Fry


Winner of the Charles Darwin Evolutionary Biology beauty contest.

Miss Sing Link