Thursday, August 4, 2011

Alien Abduction

My cat’s recent visit to the vet provides the setting for the classic alien abduction story. Just look at the event from his point of view.

You are sleeping peacefully in your bed when you are unexpectedly lifted bodily into the air by a force you cannot resist. As you slowly begin to come out of your sleep you realize that you are being placed into a confining area barely larger than your body with only small holes you can look out of to see what’s going on.

You resist. You stretch your limbs out to stop it from happening, but you can’t. You catch a glimpse of your captors on your way into the box. These cannot be the people you know and trust. These uncaring things, immune to your distress, must have replaced them. All this is so disconcerting that you have no way to interpret what is happening to you except that you have absolutely no control over it. Despite your vocalizations and protests and cries for help, your will is completely ignored. You have no dignity, no status as a sentient being whatever.

Your confining cubicle is then  lifted into some vehicle of advanced technological design which takes you away from your home. All of the surroundings, though you can’t see them well, smell unfamiliar. You are filled with fear and foreboding. You try to communicate with your captors again, try to convince them to stop this, but it’s useless. No one is listening.

Your cubicle is moved again into a different area. You hear the complaints and cries of fear from captives of your species and other species as well. As your own vocalizations increase to express your mounting terror, the cubicle is moved again. You are released into a new area which you have never seen before except in some memory that seems like a bad dream. You always wished that you would never see this place again. You are placed on a cold metal table. You are subjected to the unavoidable anal probe. Someone looks into your facial cavities. Your ears are drilled into by itchy devices, your mouth is forced open. Your teeth and gums are probed. Then some other stranger comes and whisks you off to another area where needles are stuck into your body that carry strange fluids, and you have no idea what is in them.

When you are finally returned to your home, those around you behave as if nothing has happened, that this is a normal day. Your recovery from this ordeal may require 16 to 20 hours of sleep, and later it all seems like a bad dream.