Thursday, June 19, 2014

Secrets of SETI Revealed

I want to thank my regular readers for their overwhelming response to my recent blog, The Alien Wallpaper Project. One of my blog followers pointed out that intergalactic beings are not material entities, but are instead non-material beings living in the intergalactic plane. This reader concluded that because they are not material beings, they would not and could not be customers for wallpaper designed specifically for Aliens.

 I think that it would be unfair to the regular readers of my blog, both of you, if I did not at this point reveal the recent findings of the SETI Project (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence). I will discuss the debate set off by these astonishing discoveries, but I want to caution my readers that we’re in Very Deep Waters (VDW) here because these kinds of subjects elicit Very Strong Opinions (VSO) from both the metaphysical and scientific communities.


SETI scientists have discovered a song. The song has reached us, eons after it was originally performed, from the depths of intergalactic space. The complete text of the song is very blurry. Translation algorithms are mightily challenged, but the refrain goes something like this:

My Face and Body
Are Just Fantastic
And I am a Material 

This song, performed by some far off pop star, obviously confirms the materiality of at least some race of the intergalactic population.

The Debate in the Metaphysical Community (MC)

The debate over this revelation in the metaphysical community has been fierce. Doubt is now cast on the veracity of certain channelled entities who have claimed the exclusive non-materiality of all intergalactic beings.

Channelers with VSO (Very Strong Opinions) have become nasty with each other. Some channelers now claim that the entity channeled by one of their colleagues is not fit to carry the lunch pail of their own channeled entity. This in spite of the fact that lunch pails went out in the 70’s.

The Debate in the Scientific Community (SC)

This finding was so depressing to SETI scientists that many of them abandoned the project altogether and went on “benders” of various kinds. The remaining scientist split into factions debating what action should be taken. One group was in favor of removing the “I” from the SETI acronym, believing that  “Search for Extra Terrestrials” would be a more appropriate name for the project. Another group thought the project should be turned over to producers and hosts of  Reality TV in the hope of collecting vast royalties. 

A Sad State of Affairs (SSA)

This already SSA in VDW (Very Deep Waters) was compounded by further SETI revelations that the singer of the song was once again pregnant by another actor after she had already given birth to septuplets. She was said to be taking birth control!

This last finding was too much for the remaining scientists. Many of them thought the experiment would be better designed if in fact it was turned over to chimpanzees. 

The Treatment for the Problem (TP)

Some scientists and metaphysicians sought out professional help for the emotional distress caused by these events. Common antidepressants were prescribed. The following cryptic prescription is the result.

SF in VDW: SSA and VSO in MC &  SC. TTT & SMM

SETI findings in Very Deep Waters: Sad State of Affairs and Very Strong Opinions in Metaphysical Community and Scientific Community.

Take Two Tablets and See Me in the Morning